SANDWICHED

 

While I lay there in bed sandwiched between my daughters, the elder stretching her arms and younger kicking her legs, I dozed off........ I was in school again watching few kids playing in the playground. I wanted to run out and play with them. Then it was our turn to have the PT class, instead of playing I wanted to go home. Then it was evening I went home but I wanted to play with my friends. Later after finishing homework I was allowed to play with my friends but then I wanted to sleep. While asleep a fairy appeared and granted me a wish that whenever I clapped my hands over my head I can move faster into future. Next day at school during Math period I clapped and I was home. I wanted to become a teenager so I clapped faster and there I was in high school but I wanted more so clapped faster and there I was married with a beautiful little daughter. I wanted more so I clapped faster and we had settled in a foreign land with another beautiful kid but I saw that I was miserable. I had no time for myself or to enjoy with my kids. They had their school work, tuitions, and dance classes. I wanted to be happy so I clapped faster and saw that I was alone in a different land and both my daughters were managing their life alone without any adult to guide them. I clapped faster and was on my death bed all alone thinking of the past that I missed living. I realised that trying to find happiness I had forgotten to live the magical moments of the present.  My eyes flew wide open and were filled with tears to see myself sandwiched between my daughters.

As the only daughter born between two sons, I was always pampered a little more, spoiled a little more, admired a little more, appreciated a little more, awarded a little more and accepted a little more. Yet I always expected a little more, hence I strived a little more. But we are what we choose to be and I chose a life that I thought would bring me happiness but ended up causing misery to myself and to everyone else who always gave me little more. 

I have heard that life is a journey between birth and death. I have read that time is a concept created by man. I know that we cannot rewind and undo our history. I have understood that we are not our history, we are not what we project ourselves to be and we are not what our conditioned mind tells us about us, we are the essence that prevails in all living things, we become what we manifest ourselves to be. 

All of us fear rejection, want attention, crave affection and dream of perfection. But how many of us achieve satisfaction? How many of us can smile from our heart and say with gratitude that I am blessed to have had all the experiences that has made me who I am today? 

Its ironic, how sorrow teaches us happiness, rudeness shows us the value of kindness, and absence teaches us what to hold dear. Life’s trials lead us to something better even if we can’t see it at the time.  I realise now that I have been the mother who taught them human values rather than valuable material aspects and they have grown into such beautiful humans filled with kindness, empathy, gratitude, self respect and confidence

We are always sandwiched between our past and future that we fail to see the beauty of our present. Let’s count our blessings rather than counting our bank balance. Let’s make gratitude our prayer and happiness our attitude. Let us live and not just exist. I am ready to experience life....Are you?