OBEY ME!!!

After being the controlled, it was liberating to have 2 daughters to control, or so I thought. Children are not given a choice until they turn to us and start questioning. When we say yes to their choices, they never consider asking us why?  But the minute they hear us question their choices they start questioning our reasoning.

Is it just between adults and children or is it between any kinds of relationship or is it any life situation or is it just our thoughts. I had to dig deep into my core to find an answer. Who controls whom, how, what & why?

This brought me to the question what are thoughts? There are two kinds of thoughts:

1.       A mind made opinion on some being or a situation (past or future) is a thought

2.       An idea (constructive or destructive) is a thought

Anything furthering these is our thought processes.

When we live in reality our thoughts will be in sync with our present. But if we imagine a situation to be larger than life, it becomes a problem when reality hits. When we think of the past with fondness they are just happy memories and when we think of them with bitterness they are just sad memories. Memories are just our history, it’s not who we are now.

Recently I was having a great day with my kids at the beach. After having a fun filled evening we decided to go to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Since I moved to a foreign land some time back I have the habit of sharing pieces of information from my daily life with my kids over What’s app. But I never knew this had become a habit and I ended up sharing the day’s events with few friends while having dinner and didn’t notice the disappointment on my daughter’s faces, I didn’t realize that rather than having fun with them I wanted to show the world that I was having fun with my daughters. It is an irony missed by many.

Earlier days when phones were not following us to our washrooms, we were still in control, we had the choice of picking up or ignoring when it rang. But nowadays even after midnight when we receive a ping or a ding asking us to Obey their call for attention why do we listen to that impulse. In between wonderful conversations or life situations why do we allow the non-living entity to interrupt and control us?

Hence coming back to questioning our choices based on our reasoning capacity, do we allow this controlling entity be it our thoughts or mobiles or life situations,  to continue having this strong hand over our daily life or is it possible for us to attend to its call when we deem necessary? What do we think will happen if we don’t reply to each message or thought we receive immediately? Is it considered a social etiquette to respond to every message or thought or do we have a choice? If we do have a choice then which is the right one? Do we have to Obey the mind made rules or should we prioritize ?

We grow up when we realize that our belief systems and habits have been developed due to our past conditioning. If we break the habit of being controlled by the past and make changes in our present, if we can enjoy each day as it is rather than imagining a happier future moment and losing sight of the present, if we can savor the life situation we have created for ourselves, if we can let go of the huge burden of resentment of the past, we might just be actually happy from within ourselves rather than looking for happiness outside of us. Let us learn to make it a great day, one at a time. If I can do it I am sure everyone else can….don’t you think so?

 

Comments

  1. Kavitha RajagopalanJuly 4, 2021 at 3:45 AM

    Excellent

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJuly 4, 2021 at 7:07 AM

    Breaking the shackles of your upbringing from the past is not easy...@ the same time, we cant ignore the demands of the present...and you find peace and pathway only when you draw a line between these two and live your present...and the kids only understand today and NOT your yesterday...understanding and acknowledgement are a 2 way horse...we shud learn to ride them both.....Paramasivan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WHY - WAGJuly 4, 2021 at 8:41 AM

      Thank you Params, I agree it's very difficult but not impossible, I don't want the kids to accept my past, I just don't want it to define me🙏🙏

      Delete
    2. UnknownJuly 4, 2021 at 8:45 AM

      Take it from me and my experience...the kids shud accept the way we are...past or present...and its in our hands to ensure that...tell them our past...they will understand us in the present.. today's kids are way mature than you and me...

      Delete
  3. WHY - WAGJuly 4, 2021 at 8:47 AM

    They know my past, and they also know that I don't let it define me

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownJuly 4, 2021 at 8:56 AM

    WOOOOOOOOOW ... Excellent

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownJuly 5, 2021 at 12:30 AM

    Kids are far matured I feel...when we made a change in our life to set all our phones on mute and hv our food together on the table without gazing at the tv, it really made a difference! We talked, laughed, enjoyed our food, shared and decisions were made together. Let's make our kids understand the value of relationships thru small lifestyle changes. Trust me it does wonders. I stopped living on my past and trying to enjoy every moment of my life. Positivity dwells with me now. Great topic and thoughts Ganga.. always admire your work....from your bestie Ammu.

    ReplyDelete
  6. SrutiJuly 9, 2021 at 8:50 AM

    I think Our past is a ladder on which we climb up and reach our goals….!!! Our past doesn’t define us it just provides us a clear vision to carry forward from our mistake…. And even kids don’t look up to your past they very strongly look up to your present….. Your present defines you .
    Good one aunt👍🏻

    ReplyDelete

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